Perhaps somewhere before September 2023, I have announced I would close this site for good. This site was previously known as Su Journalism & Arts Review, which in retrospect seems quite pompous.
I have sent a newsletter before the final closure (to which I obliged). It was written in English, before my departure to work on Spectrum of the Seas. Ultimately, that did not happen, but in the letter I had mentioned to my audiences (see here, in Chinese) that my writings are 'an artificial tool, a vessel' to satisfy the urge of 'shooting and crying' for those bourgeois, academic Chinese international students; in plain English: make them feel good.
I don't feel good. Needless to say, one would not write if they are complacent about themselves. I did not, do not, and will not feel good. Indeed, a person of any moral standing would find themselves quite uncomfortable amongst an utterly corrupted milieu.
'Nobody feels good under my watch, not even myself'. This is a time to, again, break the silence. I have sent another letter using a newsletter service which I pledged would never use again for months ago. I think it is the time to betray my own promise, in exchange of letting the names of the deceased to be heard again.
This is the letter I wrote in its original.
When Paul, whose name was Saul of Tarsus, was blinded by Jesus and become an apostle of God, he was facing a mounting task: how can he convince other Christians of that time, that he is now a Christian?
Saul of Tarsus was an active persecutor of Christian, he participated in the first recorded martyrdom in Christian history: the martyred St Stephen. Upon Paul's conversion to Christian church, he faced an awkward question: how can he persuade his previous games, that he was reborn and called to be a servant of servants, to those Christians? Albeit not mentioned by the Bible, he must have faced challenges and contempt. Today, I am facing the same question, how can I speak again, when I pleaded that I would remain silent for the rest of my life? I pleaded that I would remain silent for my dead brethren, to whom Lord perhaps gave a yoke that was too heavy. Now, I decided to break the silence, knowing such a break would be a betrayal to my brethren, to myself, to my own morality.
Bonhoeffer once said, 'Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act'. I don't think my own 'morality' worth a dime, when hundreds of children are being slaughtered in the ongoing siege in Gaza, when my most downtrodden friends are facing homelessness and poverty, and God's words being twisted to justify those land robbery, and wanton murders from the settlers.
I am not vocal by any means. This newsletter has perhaps twenty subscribers, my blog had no unsolicited subscribers. Still, I feel obliged to write a perspective as a Christian - not a perfect Christian - with as much of love as possible.
Allow me to implore you again: listen to my voice, and correct me when I am filled with hatred. I am not bulletproof, nor I am a person of moral caliber. But please, I beg you, let us break the silence and start to talk with each others with a plain tone, with a humble heart, and most importantly, with love.
I am in a depressive episode now, so I can't promise any timeframe. However, I wish to convert the Su Review of Arts and Journalism to Barmen Memorial Review, a love-centered, moderate and a standing voice towards the ongoing calamity in our current world. To love in a world full of hatred is to believe - to believe His kingdom come and His justice done. I will write again, and this time, I shall no falter nor halter.
With cordial regards,
Jeremiah Patrick Hsu
I don't feel good about writing using the 'Barmen' word, since it would be a blasphemy, a moral barrier too high to sustain, an impossible undertaking. I speak of myself, and I speak for myself.
Staying clear from the current affairs does not equate to eschewing oneself. Our time posits a peculiar invite to us, and to refuse would be the true betrayal. Let us sin boldly, but believe even more boldly.
'When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die', and now, I pray for my own death.