The Valediction

(Note: This letter was written to Lena Shizuki, prior to my answering a police summons, on 13 May, 2024. Written in Traditional Chinese, translated by Gemini 3.0 Pro.)

Lena,

I am prepared to answer this summons, and I may well be detained for a duration of up to twenty days. Should they unearth aught of consequence, or should matters escalate to criminal proceedings, the confinement shall be prolonged.

You are well aware that my constitution struggles to endure without medication; thus, even a span of mere days renders the outcome uncertain. I anticipate no grave misfortune, yet all things reside solely within God’s province. Hence, before we part, I wish to convey to you words drawn from the very depths of my soul.

Making your acquaintance ranks as the second most fortuitous event of my life; the first being my knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Though we stand before God frail, impotent, and in absolute solitude, you have nonetheless afforded this lonely heart a measure of solace. In this world, ’tis a facile task to find a churchgoer, yet an arduous one to find a true Christian. I hold no affection for the dichotomy of ‘true’ versus ‘false’ Christians; rather, whosoever loves His appearing is a Christian. Those who cherish public justice, those of upright character... such souls are rare finds in this earthly realm. You have weathered many tribulations, as have I. In retrospect, it is precisely such hours that compel us to examine the tenacity of our faith.

This morning, I attended to a suicide case in Colombia, necessitating requests for urgent consular assistance from both the United States and Canada. It was only through ecclesiastical connections that I eventually located an individual fluent in both Spanish and English to alert the authorities. The other party remarked, 'I can’t thank you enough,' yet what, pray tell, merits such gratitude? I merely placed some telephone calls. Perchance I have resided perpetually in hell—a society frigid and bereft of emotion. To know you is my distinct honour; to witness the fervent love you bear. I thank you, too, for your companionship these past two months. My heart has long been obdurate, like a rock in the wilderness, striving to live as 'the salt of the earth, the light of the world'. Meeting you has thawed those hardened quarters somewhat, granting me—one who eschews the grain of the unjust*—a touch of vernal warmth.

Your company, the company of 01, and the twilight cast upon my bookshelves constitute the sum of all impetus in my life. I stumble, cold and stiff, yet you have shown me a beam of light, revealing Heaven amidst this Hell—a future no longer defined by scripture and statute, but by love. I believe that you, as a light of this world, shall forever illuminate my heart.

If there remain any regrets unspoken, let them be this: 'I forgive you.' The Lord forgives me at this moment, and I shall one day behold Him with my own eyes—not with dread, but with love. I also implore the pardon and forgiveness of all souls in this world, and the forgiveness of Yvette. Should I return, I shall fight on unyieldingly; this is the highest respect I can accord to humanity.

Lena, I trust that my love for you shall remain constant, just as the Lord’s love for me remains constant; for He who called us is the God of yesterday, and the God of tomorrow. As we live by the Gospel today, so shall we surely live by the Gospel in the days to come.

Yours in eternal loyalty,

Translator’s Note: For the phrase "不食周粟" (literally: not eating the millet of Zhou), I have rendered it as "one who eschews the grain of the unjust." This preserves the literary allusion to Bo Yi and Shu Qi—symbols of political dissent and moral purity who refused to eat the food of a dynasty they considered illegitimate—while making the sentiment intelligible in English.